Trump fears Spanish flu

Influenza Ward

Known germophobe and President of the United States Donald Trump is very concerned about contracting the Spanish flu from visiting Spanish President Mariano Rajoy Brey according to sources in the White House.

Although he appeared calm and composed at a joint press conference in the White House Rose Garden this afternoon, he was anything but.

“The Purell tanks are down to five thousand gallons!” Trump was heard to exclaim before the arrival of the Spanish president. The running Purell system was installed at the beginning of Trump’s term of office in tunnels under the White House originally installed by former President Teddy Roosevelt. The tanks’ capacity is generally believed to be 20,000 gallons.

A diplomatic crisis was averted when the Spanish president agreed to a twelve-step decontamination process developed by the American space agency NASA to sterilize space-bound equipment.

A similar crisis took place when German Chancellor Angela Merkel visited the White House earlier this year. The perceived snub that occurred when the president declined to shake the chancellor’s hand was actually due to a fear of contracting German measles.

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