Trumplation of News Conference 09-26-17

  1. I’m doing a great job in providing relief for Puerto Rico if I do say so myself. I will grace the island with the imprint of my foot next Tuesday.
  2. Spain is great, and our children study its exploration in school and ignore the Spanish Inquisition, the destruction of the Aztec and Inca peoples, the introduction of enslavement of African people to the New World, and flan.
  3. Our relationship with Spain is great, despite the hyped-up Spanish-American War where we “liberated” their colonies, including Puerto Rico, where we’re doing a great job.
  4. Spain is doing what we tell it to do, including expelling their North Korean ambassador and training Iraqi soldiers.
  5. Kneeling during the national anthem is still the most important thing on my mind.